Apparently the government, in their infinite wisdom, have decided we, as a nation, are too fat.
So the NHS advertising experts have put together a wonderful little campaign to help us collectively get fit, and “Change4Life”.
According to this new project, we are to “Eat well” and “Move more” to “Live longer”. This has come as a revelation to every person. Suddenly, a divine light has shown us the way to eternal life, and the answer is cutting down our diet and doing more exercise.
Have you ever seen a fat athlete? Whoever knew the key to their lean bodies was a healthy diet and vigorous training? Surely within a few months of the Government’s new ad campaign, we shall all be sprinting the twenty mile stint to work and gorging our faces with apples and bananas.
Maybe, we will also develop some infinite mental ability through fitness, because according Morph’s brothers and sisters dancing around our TV screens, we all have the mental age of a five year old. Perhaps the advertisers have made an honest mistake in estimating viewers’ capabilities. Or maybe their tactic is to force us onto the treadmill by the power of patronisation.
But it’s not only the TV screens these little people have captured. Like Tescos, Starbucks, and Hitler, these fitness freaks are now invading our own towns and cities. British bus stops beware. “Is it too far for you to walk?” the bright yellow poster condones as unsuspecting OAPs wait for the number 22. The abundance of zimmer frames, walking sticks and shopping trolleys suggest that maybe, yes, it is a bit too far to walk.
Then there is the “Change4Life” website itself, overrun again by the scary little people who’s speech bubbles tell us to watch out for them TV. Hang on a minute, isn’t sitting in front of the TV waiting for them to arrive the exact opposite of the campaign itself?
The essence itself of the campaign is true, us lazy Britons need to get up off the sofa, ditch the car and don the sneakers. We live in a Ready Meal society where exercise and healthy eating involves is another burden on pour busy, busy lives. Gordon Brown himself, the epitome of the lean, mean, running machine, is going to lead Britain to be the next Germany in the Berlin Olympics. Paula Radcliffe, watch out.
The message is more honest and true than Jesus. The campaign is bigger than Obama’s. Ignoring the patronisation, Britain is on its way to the healthiest society in history. Paint yourself blue or orange, erase your face, eat your 5 a day, go for a run, and you too, could be as cool as those little men.
Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Spice Girls Tribute Review (University Assignment)
There was plenty of Girl Power in this nostalgic Spice Girls tribute night on Friday. The four piece dance group gave it their all as they pumper out classic tunes at the Landmarc, Bournemouth. The decor was the epitome of the nineties girl band. Pink lighting and a large glitter ball set the perfect scene for a girly night of fun.
The show began as the foursome exploded onto the stage with a Pussycat Dolls mega-mix. As the girls bounced around and shook their booties, devoted fans in fancy dress filled the dance floor. The night continued with more sing-a-longs such as Avril Lavinge’s “Girlfriend” and Katy Perry’ “I Kissed a Girl.”
While the girls ran off stage to change costumes, one of them remained to indulge in some audience participation. The crowd looked doubtful at first, but as two unsuspecting gentlemen were pushed on stage by their wines, the mood lightened. As the men strutted their stuff, trying to keep up with the dancers who had now returned re-costumed, the walls of the converted church trembled with applause.
The dance floor blossomed back to life as the girls picked up with Gwen Stefani’s “Holla Back Girl.” The vocals were then handed over to another of the dancers, who kept up the powerful standard. The performance so far had been dazzling, but where were the Spice Girls?
After yet another change of costume, there was more audience activity on the cards. This time, the Spice Girls’ fans that had turned up in outlandish costumes were beckoned on stage for a dance off. Unfortunately for the tribute band, they stole the show for the next ten minutes with enthusiastic cart wheeling and ass-shaking. The applause nearly went through the roof as they stumbled off stage.
With the band disappearing yet again, the DJ announced the arrival of the long awaited Spice Girls! After a very long but fun nonetheless warm-up, the crowd held their breath. But, to the surprise of everyone, the same four girls appeared back on stage, fully costumed as the Spice Girls.
The girls blasted into “Wannabe” and the audience went crazy. Everyone was boogying, and when “Stop Right Now” followed, the band led everyone in the nostalgic dance moves. The air hummed with the buzz of school discos and forgotten memories. Ending with “Viva Forever”, there was an air of confusion that the tribute was not quite as advertised with only three songs. But for a night of dancing and simple fun, the audience was satisfied.
The show began as the foursome exploded onto the stage with a Pussycat Dolls mega-mix. As the girls bounced around and shook their booties, devoted fans in fancy dress filled the dance floor. The night continued with more sing-a-longs such as Avril Lavinge’s “Girlfriend” and Katy Perry’ “I Kissed a Girl.”
While the girls ran off stage to change costumes, one of them remained to indulge in some audience participation. The crowd looked doubtful at first, but as two unsuspecting gentlemen were pushed on stage by their wines, the mood lightened. As the men strutted their stuff, trying to keep up with the dancers who had now returned re-costumed, the walls of the converted church trembled with applause.
The dance floor blossomed back to life as the girls picked up with Gwen Stefani’s “Holla Back Girl.” The vocals were then handed over to another of the dancers, who kept up the powerful standard. The performance so far had been dazzling, but where were the Spice Girls?
After yet another change of costume, there was more audience activity on the cards. This time, the Spice Girls’ fans that had turned up in outlandish costumes were beckoned on stage for a dance off. Unfortunately for the tribute band, they stole the show for the next ten minutes with enthusiastic cart wheeling and ass-shaking. The applause nearly went through the roof as they stumbled off stage.
With the band disappearing yet again, the DJ announced the arrival of the long awaited Spice Girls! After a very long but fun nonetheless warm-up, the crowd held their breath. But, to the surprise of everyone, the same four girls appeared back on stage, fully costumed as the Spice Girls.
The girls blasted into “Wannabe” and the audience went crazy. Everyone was boogying, and when “Stop Right Now” followed, the band led everyone in the nostalgic dance moves. The air hummed with the buzz of school discos and forgotten memories. Ending with “Viva Forever”, there was an air of confusion that the tribute was not quite as advertised with only three songs. But for a night of dancing and simple fun, the audience was satisfied.
Profile on Sam Adams (University Features Assignment)
Sam Adams is only 21 and he has already killed. After returning home from a 9 month trip to Musa Qala, Afghanistan, Sam talks about his life in the Army, the first time he took a life, and the closest he has ever come to death.
Bullets hit their rucksacks and shreds of maize fly around them as Sam and his friend Brian are ambushed by the Taliban. When the firing ceases, covered in the tatters of the field they took shelter in, the two men look at each other, take a deep breath, and laugh.
“If I’m honest with you, you have to laugh” Sam says. “You don’t have time to be scared
when you’re that close to death. It’s only afterwards when you think about it that it hits you.”]Back from a 9 month trip to Afghanistan, Sam shrugs off one of many near misses. But he is one of the lucky ones. After the death toll of British troops in Afghanistan and Iraq reaching 300, it is no wonder his family were worried when he told them he would be going to Afghanistan.
“Sam told me he had volunteered to go to Afghanistan when I was in the library at University, so I couldn’t shout at him!” remarks his girlfriend of 3 years, April Warren. 21 year old April said she panicked constantly when Sam first went to Afghanistan, but in the end she got used to him being away.
Sam joined the army when he was 17, straight from school. He had wanted to be a solder since he was just a little boy, and volunteering to go for Afghanistan was a natural choice for him. “A lot of people told me I was stupid to go, but I wanted to do it” says Sam.
Sam’s platoon, the 5th Battalion of The Royal Regiment of Scotland (aka 5 Scots) was based in a village called Musa Qala in Afghanistan. It was on a standing patrol one day when Sam had his closest experience with a live member of the Taliban.
Jumping up and acting out the scenario, Sam explains how his platoon was hiding in the bushes, when a sole member of the Taliban walked right in front of them. The others were looking the other way, but Sam and Brian watched as the man turned to head back in the opposite direction, revealing an AK gun in his hand.
“As soon as he caught site of us, Brain popped him in the chest!” Sam mimes this action as he talks. His matter of fact reaction to killing is unnerving, but as he simply puts it, “If you don’t get them, they will get you.”
Normally, a dead man is an unlikely sight on the battlefield. “You only see the blood trails,” Sam explains, “as Muslim law states that bodies must be buried within 24 hours of their death.” But once Sam was able to touch a dead member of the Taliban that he had killed himself.
“It’s a bit of a high five moment!” He jokes. In fact, Sam sits up and smiles proudly when he said he could have killed 3 people, but because of only seeing the blood trails he’ll never be sure of the exact number. There is no trace of feeling in his voice as he talks of these kills.
Sam often makes jokes or detaches himself from his time in Afghanistan, even when he talks about the near death experiences he’s had. On one patrol to the North, the platoon stopped to rest, and the medic told them that they should take their helmets off to get some air.
“I’d only bloody got my helmet up to here,” he mimes pulling the helmet up to his ears, “When this round whizzed past my head. We put our helmets back on pretty quick after that!”
After having so many dangerous experiences, does Sam really believe that all he has been through is worth it? “Everywhere British troops are based has become so much worse compared to 2006” he says. “But in some places, the Taliban are starting to give up, and we should stand strong.”
Having been back only weeks from Afghanistan, Sam is bored. He stares absently at the daytime television that is on for background noise. “I’ve got nothing to do ‘til January!” he moans. But he has decided to go back to Afghanistan for a further 4 months. He is hoping to take his Door Gunners course so he can get more into the action.
“I don’t do much with helicopters at the moment, and it’s a bit boring always being on the ground.” he says. The 6 week course will enable him to get up in the air and more in the action.
Although he has these plans, Sam doesn’t want to stay in the Army forever. “If I’m honest with you, I really want a 9-5 job!” he admits. “I was planning to come out this year but with the credit crunch an’ all that it’s a bit hard to find a job!”
April is proud of Sam for what he has done in Afghanistan. Although she is worried about him returning in January, she says “the first time is always the worst.”
Sam will return to Afghanistan in January 2009, for a further 4 months service.
A Life In The Day of Sarah Howells (University Features Assignment)
The 19 year shop assistant lives between her parent’s and her boyfriend Steve’s houses. She lives in North Devon where she works at the pasty shop and surf school, Surfing Croyde Bay.
The alarms goes off at 7, and, as per routine, I throw my pillow at it, roll over and go back to sleep. At half 7, when I can’t stand Chris Moyles’ endless chatter anymore, I’m up. I stagger downstairs, make a coffee, and sit zombie like at the kitchen table. I look at the clock to realise I’m late, and there’s no better wakeup call than that! You’d think I would have learned by now to get up earlier, but it’s futile to even suggest it; I am not a morning person.
After running around like a lunatic, realising I have no clean clothes, and begrudgingly pulling a pasty-smelling t-shirt over my head, I’m ready to roll. I love the drive to work, the way you round the corner and it’s just the ocean in front of you, makes you feel so free.
When I get to work, it’s half 8 and, the lights are out. Ben was supposed to be here an hour ago but it’s no surprise that he’s not here. I’ve never known anyone to sleep so much! I go round the back, let myself in and turn the oven on.
Once the pasties are slowly cooking and the coffee machine is fired up, I start to make coffees for the surf instructors. They will be in soon and always moan if they don’t have a coffee waiting for them. As if on cue, two of them drag themselves in through the back door, followed by Nicky and Lauren, my co-workers, and we open the shop.
However calm it is in the morning, the day will always be busy. Today is a sunny day and we’re hit with a constant flow of people. My job is very physically demanding, and the three of us take turns to cook pasties in the sweltering heat of the kitchen, serve customers or run up and down the stairs restocking.
At about 11, Ali, the owner, wanders in, takes a handful of freshly cooked Rolo cookies and then disappear upstairs for a while. This is a regular occurrence, and he’ll be back as soon as it’s time to cover for lunch breaks.
When it reaches one o’clock, I run upstairs to the roof and sit in the sunshine for half an hour’s lunch break. I try to always time my lunch for one so I can lie in the sunshine on my own and relish in peace and quiet, but this normally gets interrupted by a surf instructor. Today Jonny comes up to join me and we talk about when I go to university in a few weeks time, before it’s time to get back to work.
The afternoon goes quickly as it always does, and the second the clock hits half 5, I grab my stuff and run. The shop is open until 10 in the summer, so it’s always so a guilty pleasure to say goodbye to everyone who’s staying on as I run out the door.
I drive round to the beach and sit and watch the waves for a bit. I love to do this; it just completely calms me after a hectic day. Sometimes I sit here for a bit longer and read, it’s my favourite pastime. After half an hour, my phone goes off and I wonder who is interrupting my moment of calm. But when I see Steve I am jolted back to reality; I supposed to be staying at his tonight and I am late! Jumping in the car, I quickly drive round to his.
As soon as I step in the door, he points to the shower. The only trouble with my work is that I tend to radiate the smell of pasties to everyone within a mile radius. So I take a short shower and then cuddle up to him on the sofa. I am exhausted after being on my feet all day so I eat dinner with him and his Mum, watch some TV, and then I fall asleep. At 11, Steve wakes me and it’s off to bed.
I feel bad I’m never awake enough to do anything with him in the evenings. It’s my day off tomorrow, my first in 15 days, so it will be good to do something with him tomorrow. As I feel Steve wrap his arms around me, and I drift off pretty quickly into a dreamless sleep. It’s been a long day.
The alarms goes off at 7, and, as per routine, I throw my pillow at it, roll over and go back to sleep. At half 7, when I can’t stand Chris Moyles’ endless chatter anymore, I’m up. I stagger downstairs, make a coffee, and sit zombie like at the kitchen table. I look at the clock to realise I’m late, and there’s no better wakeup call than that! You’d think I would have learned by now to get up earlier, but it’s futile to even suggest it; I am not a morning person.
After running around like a lunatic, realising I have no clean clothes, and begrudgingly pulling a pasty-smelling t-shirt over my head, I’m ready to roll. I love the drive to work, the way you round the corner and it’s just the ocean in front of you, makes you feel so free.
When I get to work, it’s half 8 and, the lights are out. Ben was supposed to be here an hour ago but it’s no surprise that he’s not here. I’ve never known anyone to sleep so much! I go round the back, let myself in and turn the oven on.
Once the pasties are slowly cooking and the coffee machine is fired up, I start to make coffees for the surf instructors. They will be in soon and always moan if they don’t have a coffee waiting for them. As if on cue, two of them drag themselves in through the back door, followed by Nicky and Lauren, my co-workers, and we open the shop.
However calm it is in the morning, the day will always be busy. Today is a sunny day and we’re hit with a constant flow of people. My job is very physically demanding, and the three of us take turns to cook pasties in the sweltering heat of the kitchen, serve customers or run up and down the stairs restocking.
At about 11, Ali, the owner, wanders in, takes a handful of freshly cooked Rolo cookies and then disappear upstairs for a while. This is a regular occurrence, and he’ll be back as soon as it’s time to cover for lunch breaks.
When it reaches one o’clock, I run upstairs to the roof and sit in the sunshine for half an hour’s lunch break. I try to always time my lunch for one so I can lie in the sunshine on my own and relish in peace and quiet, but this normally gets interrupted by a surf instructor. Today Jonny comes up to join me and we talk about when I go to university in a few weeks time, before it’s time to get back to work.
The afternoon goes quickly as it always does, and the second the clock hits half 5, I grab my stuff and run. The shop is open until 10 in the summer, so it’s always so a guilty pleasure to say goodbye to everyone who’s staying on as I run out the door.
I drive round to the beach and sit and watch the waves for a bit. I love to do this; it just completely calms me after a hectic day. Sometimes I sit here for a bit longer and read, it’s my favourite pastime. After half an hour, my phone goes off and I wonder who is interrupting my moment of calm. But when I see Steve I am jolted back to reality; I supposed to be staying at his tonight and I am late! Jumping in the car, I quickly drive round to his.
As soon as I step in the door, he points to the shower. The only trouble with my work is that I tend to radiate the smell of pasties to everyone within a mile radius. So I take a short shower and then cuddle up to him on the sofa. I am exhausted after being on my feet all day so I eat dinner with him and his Mum, watch some TV, and then I fall asleep. At 11, Steve wakes me and it’s off to bed.
I feel bad I’m never awake enough to do anything with him in the evenings. It’s my day off tomorrow, my first in 15 days, so it will be good to do something with him tomorrow. As I feel Steve wrap his arms around me, and I drift off pretty quickly into a dreamless sleep. It’s been a long day.
Court Reporting, Bournemouth 21-01-09 (University Assignment)
A heavily pregnant “drug addict” mother has been sentenced to 18 months imprisonment on numerous drug charges today.
Miss Julie Huntley was sentenced today for two charges of supplying heroin and one charge of buying heroin for herself. The pregnant mother’s baby is due in late March, and was the prime consideration in her sentencing.
Defence Barrister, Jonathon Simpson, said that Miss Huntley, a mother of eight, had “suffered enough” from her sixteen year drug addiction. Six of her children have been taken into adoption and two live with her Mother and Grandmother.
Mr Simpson claimed that Huntley wanted it to be known that she had “taken necessary contraceptive precautions,” but that “accidents do happen”.
Huntley has been held in custody for 83 days, with regular drug tests that have all come out clean. For this reason, Social Services see no reason why she can’t keep the baby, says Simpson. The defence claim she knows her baby is going to be a boy, and she has already named him.
Judge John Harrow acknowledged that Huntley needs “a proper opportunity to bond with the child” and therefore imposed the 18 month sentence in the East Wood Park Mother and Baby Facility.
Stuart Ellacott, the Prosecuting Barrister, said that although she had no previous drug related convictions, it should be taken into account that Huntley has previous charges of shop lifting.
Simpson told the court that Miss Huntley had been coerced by those more “influential and experienced
than her.” With good behaviour, Huntley will only spend her of her sentence in custody.
Miss Julie Huntley was sentenced today for two charges of supplying heroin and one charge of buying heroin for herself. The pregnant mother’s baby is due in late March, and was the prime consideration in her sentencing.
Defence Barrister, Jonathon Simpson, said that Miss Huntley, a mother of eight, had “suffered enough” from her sixteen year drug addiction. Six of her children have been taken into adoption and two live with her Mother and Grandmother.
Mr Simpson claimed that Huntley wanted it to be known that she had “taken necessary contraceptive precautions,” but that “accidents do happen”.
Huntley has been held in custody for 83 days, with regular drug tests that have all come out clean. For this reason, Social Services see no reason why she can’t keep the baby, says Simpson. The defence claim she knows her baby is going to be a boy, and she has already named him.
Judge John Harrow acknowledged that Huntley needs “a proper opportunity to bond with the child” and therefore imposed the 18 month sentence in the East Wood Park Mother and Baby Facility.
Stuart Ellacott, the Prosecuting Barrister, said that although she had no previous drug related convictions, it should be taken into account that Huntley has previous charges of shop lifting.
Simpson told the court that Miss Huntley had been coerced by those more “influential and experienced
than her.” With good behaviour, Huntley will only spend her of her sentence in custody.
Bingo Hall to Become Church Building (Orginal News Story Assignment)
Bournemouth Community Church has announced plans to transform the old Bingo Hall in Wimborne Road, Winton, into a brand new Community building.
The Church, based in Calvin Road, Winton, already has a community building on Wimborne Road called LifeHouse, which has been running successfully for 18 months.
Although no external alterations will be made apart from a new lobby area, the Church is looking to transform the building.
John Martin, a volunteer at the LifeHouse centre explains how space has become limited for the growing church community.
“We have over 400 people turn up to our Sunday morning meeting at Winton Arts and Media College.” says John. With so much interest, the church will convert the building to accommodate for their large amount of followers.
Handmade Christmas cards are currently being sold at the LifeHouse centre to raise money towards the conversion, along with a number of upcoming events.
“We call our self a church without walls,” says John Martin. “We aim to bring Christianity into the Community”.
The LifeHouse centre already runs many community projects, including the recently launched three Life programmes this September, to include the “Venture” project for people who love the outdoors, and “Friends 1st”, which helps befriend migrants living in Bournemouth.
The centre also provides help to all members of the community, including both help with social issues and spiritual guidance.
“We hope that the new building will help them to reach out further into the community” says John.
The Church is aiming for the new building to be ready by spring 2009.
The Church, based in Calvin Road, Winton, already has a community building on Wimborne Road called LifeHouse, which has been running successfully for 18 months.
Although no external alterations will be made apart from a new lobby area, the Church is looking to transform the building.
John Martin, a volunteer at the LifeHouse centre explains how space has become limited for the growing church community.
“We have over 400 people turn up to our Sunday morning meeting at Winton Arts and Media College.” says John. With so much interest, the church will convert the building to accommodate for their large amount of followers.
Handmade Christmas cards are currently being sold at the LifeHouse centre to raise money towards the conversion, along with a number of upcoming events.
“We call our self a church without walls,” says John Martin. “We aim to bring Christianity into the Community”.
The LifeHouse centre already runs many community projects, including the recently launched three Life programmes this September, to include the “Venture” project for people who love the outdoors, and “Friends 1st”, which helps befriend migrants living in Bournemouth.
The centre also provides help to all members of the community, including both help with social issues and spiritual guidance.
“We hope that the new building will help them to reach out further into the community” says John.
The Church is aiming for the new building to be ready by spring 2009.
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